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Century Fox. If you thought we at cruellyhandsome
own the X-Men you have some serious mental deficiencies and should seek medical treatment. No money is being made from this, but if you would like to send money we won’t refuse it.Summary so far:
The Brotherhood is about to celebrate the holidays. This will not go well. Notes:
Okay this is my best attempt to start this off right. Bear with me, since I’m not really sure where we as a group are intending this to go or how we want it to work. So I thought I would just give my best shot at it and you can all plunk me over the head with rotten vegetables when it sucks. Chapter One: Holiday Havoc BeginsAfter this year, Mystique will never celebrate Christmas with Erik's minions again.
It all started on December 1st
. It was just another bitterly cold and windy day at the Brotherhood’s island fortress off the coast of Maine. The wind howled ferociously outside and the seas were dark slate grey and choppy. Mystique was just finishing a training exercise with Pyro. They were sparring and practicing wrestling holds on one another. Mystique was an expert in unarmed combat and was proficient in many styles of martial arts. Still she didn’t neglect more Western methods of combat, such as boxing, fencing, and wrestling.
Today Mystique had taught Pyro several holds, which were useful for subduing a person while making them talk. As usual the teenager wasn’t as focused as he should be. His holds were weakly executed and Mystique pinned him with little effort throughout the exercise. She wrangled free of his latest attempt at a side headlock and spun around behind him gripping his arm and pushing his head forward in a half Nelson hold.
Pyro struggled and then stopped. He became very still as though he was thinking of something. Mystique prepared herself whatever way he might try to break free. She gripped his arm tighter.
“You should dress up as Santa Claus this year.”
Mystique was thrown off guard. It took her several seconds to process it and with her distracted, Pyro was able to twist out of the Nelson. Using his near arm to her, he snaked it under her arm pit and around behind her neck. He pushed her head and body down. As Mystique was propelled forward, Pyro hooked his leg around hers effectively tripping her. Mystique went face first into the mat below.What a pleasant start to this stupid holiday season.
Mystique checked to make sure nothing was broken. She lay on the mat for a few seconds, shaken. Why must the young mutants make such a big deal about Christmas every year?
Mystique got up and from her quick, snappish movements Pyro knew she was pissed. She was relentless in training and didn’t accept being beaten easily.
“I am not
dressing up as Santa Claus. Now let’s try some leglocks.” Mystique crouched down with her knees bent and arms out, like a praying mantis prepared to strike.
“C’mon, Mystique. You’d make the perfect Santa Claus. You’d look just like him.”
“I would but I’m not going to. Let’s get back to training.”
But it was too late. Across the gym and training complex the other members of the Brotherhood had stopped what they were doing when they saw Pyro pin Mystique.
Callisto had zipped over in 0.0014 seconds to gloat over her fallen, blue rival. The two women were locked in a bitter, silent struggle for the position of Magneto’s top woman. She wanted the power and the intimacy Mystique currently shared with Erik. And for that reason, Callisto tried just a little too hard to make herself useful
Juggarnaut came lumbering over from where he had been practicing running through a series of thick metal walls. Everyday Juggarnaut ran through them and every night Magneto molded them anew for his training the next day.
Sabretooth had been sparring against an imaginary Wolverine simulation run by Toad, but abandoned his nemesis to see what was going on with Mystique and Pyro. Toad, a little bewildered why Sabretooth had left right as Wolverine was about to kick his butt, took off his 3D goggles and hopped over to the scene.
Archlight was already there with Quills. Four incarnations of Multiple Man were there. Meanwhile, two others were wandering around looking for breakfast in the kitchen. A crowd had gathered around Mystique and Pyro.
Pyro looked as all the other members of the Brotherhood gathered around to watch them. And at that moment a furious, cobalt blue woman struck him. Pyro landed on the mats and Mystique hurriedly flipped him over onto his stomach and caught his ankle in a standing ankle lock. She held the ankle, twisting it at an unnatural angle and pushing down on his knee.
Pyro whimpered in pain and tried to reach into his pocket for his lighter. Mystique stepped on his hand.
“What’s going on in here? Why is no one doing their training?”
It was Erik’s voice. He had been disturbed not by the noise coming from the training complex, but from the sudden lack of noise. Whenever his Brotherhood was quiet he knew something mischievous was afoot. The last time they had been this quiet, the group had been planning a surprise birthday party for him. It had gone so badly, Erik declared that they never speak of it again, nor celebrate any of his birthdays in the future. It had become known as ‘that event we can’t talk about’.
Seeing the object of her worship, Callisto rushed up to Erik while Mystique looked on peeved at the young mutie. Erik looked from Callisto to Mystique, who was still twisting Pyro’s ankle painfully.
“Let him go, Raven.” Erik said, gently as though he understood her plight. “What has the boy been up to this time?”
Mystique didn’t answer quickly and Pyro spoke up before her, from his spot on the floor.
“I want us to do something for Christmas. Last year all we got was a tabletop tree.”
“We don’t celebrate human holidays, Pyro. You know that.” Erik admonished him.
“Hey we got the tree last year and I know you put up a menorah in your office. Why can’t we celebrate it this year?”
Erik looked over at Raven. The menorah had been her doing. She had given him it as a gift. And while he was not an openly religious man, it had touched him.
“Last year you burnt down the Christmas tree while trying to light candles around it. Just sayin’.” Toad blurted out at Pyro as he hopped closer to the discussion.
“I had to go out and get us new carpeting in the dining hall. Remember?” Mystique reminded Pyro. And maybe he would remember how all of their holidays usually ended in unmitigated destruction.
“So what? This year’s celebration will go better than that. You’re always saying how mutants are a family, a Brotherhood, right Mags? Shouldn’t we celebrate the holidays as a family?”
“Do not ever refer to me as ‘Mags’ again if you enjoy being capable of speech.”
Pyro gulped. But quickly recovered.
“I think it would bring all of us together to celebrate Christmas.” Pyro looked to his brothers. “C’mon guys. Don’t you wanna have a Christmas tree and stuff?”
“It would be a good break from training all the time.” Quills said.
“You would make a good Santa Claus, Mystique.” Sabretooth seconded Pyro’s opinion. “And maybe I’ll get what I want for Christmas this year.” Sabretooth looked off into space imagining his hoped for gift.
“To kill Wolverine?” Toad guessed.
“How did you know?” Sabretooth was all astonishment.
“Deducing your thoughts isn’t rocket science.”
“What does rocket science have to do with Christmas?” Sabretooth asked straight faced.
Toad put his face into his palm, which was covered, as usual, by a brown fingerless glove.
Sabretooth reached out and grabbed the unsuspecting Toad by the neck and lifted him several feet off the ground.
“Tell me what rocket science has to do with Christmas.” He demanded while Toad choked.
“Let the bloke go.” Juggarnaut, a fellow Brit, stepped in on Toad’s behalf. When Sabretooth growled at his threat, Juggarnaut really stepped
in, producing a ground rumbling thud.
Sabretooth reluctantly let the Toad go. He hopped several feet away from the two, who were staring each other down.
“Oh, for heaven’s sake you two. Heel!” Magneto’s frustration was clear and Sabretooth and Juggarnaut stepped away from each other. They moved closer to the Master of Magnetism just as a loyal dog would follow the commands of it’s master.
“Whatever shall I do with them…,” Erik whispered under his breath. Sabretooth’s advanced hearing could plainly hear the words Erik meant to keep quiet. But the ice age mutant was smart enough (just barely) not to reply to them.
It was Juggarnaut’s turn to give his opinion on celebrating Christmas.
“I want a Christmas dinner just like me mum used to make. I want figgy pudding to eat.”
“People eat that stuff? It’s real? Not just a lame song lyric?” Pyro asked.
“Me mum used to make it for me two days before Christmas. And we’d eat it on Christmas Eve. Oh I used to try to sneak a nibble-”
“I’d be happy just to get a gift for once.” Archlight interrupted. Doubtless she had never had a mother to make her figgy pudding, because if she had had a mother, that mother would have taught her to dress more appropriately for a cold winter day. Her fishnet shirt and black training bra were a glaring fashion faux pas.
“I, for one, would enjoy the mistletoe. If you get caught under the mistletoe you have to kiss someone.” Callisto said and standing right next to Erik she made doe eyes, looking at him pointedly as though he was her mistletoe target. Erik stepped away from her with a disgusted look on his face.
Everyone turned to Magneto now. The decision lay in his hands. And Erik looked to Mystique for her opinion. Mystique, meanwhile, was glaring at Callisto.
“I don’t think we should do it Erik. All of our holiday celebrations end with us making repairs to the fortress. We don’t have the time to take away from fighting for mutant freedom to prepare a celebration. And we shouldn’t be celebrating a human holiday anyway. We’ve evolved. We’ve evolved beyond mistletoe, figgy pudding, and Christmas trees.”
“It’s not a human holiday. It’s a religious holiday celebrating God.” Pyro, with a white workout towel over his shoulder was reminiscent of Linus from Peanuts, preaching to his friends about the true meaning of Christmas.
“A God that is said by nearly every religion to hate mutants.” Magneto’s words were the truth and a hush fell over the Brotherhood. This was supposed to be a joyous season; not a season to contemplate the cruel discrimination against mutants.
“Maybe it’s better if we don’t celebrate any religious holidays.” Quill came out with after the moment of silence had ended.
“We celebrated Easter.” Pyro mentioned. “Remember the Easter egg hunt we had?”
“That wasn’t an Easter Egg hunt, Pyro. That was ‘find the recording bugs the FBI planted in the fortress’. Quite a different scenario.” Magneto corrected them.
“But it was close. And Mystique did buy us a lot of candy.”
Erik looked at Mystique for an explanation.
“It was on sale.” She shrugged her shoulders.
“What about the 4th of July firework show?” Pyro asked.
“That was a passing government spy plane. Erik pulled it from the sky and you set it aflame.” Mystique explained.
“It looked like the same thing.”
“The boy’s incorrigible.” Magneto turned away as though to leave the room.
“So can we celebrate Christmas or not?” Pyro asked. There was anger in his tone but he was too eager to be Magneto’s most trusted mutant to disobey his wishes. That was why he was asking permission in the first place.
“Mystique, what do you think?” Erik asked her. Callisto glared at the two of them. Thanks for putting the decision in my lap Erik
, Mystique thought. She waited for a few seconds, but seeing everyone looking at her and knowing they were expecting her to make the decision, she caved.
“If we don’t let them celebrate Christmas, we’ll never hear the end of it.”
“That’s right.” Archlight threatened. Everyone looked at her as though she had sprouted two heads and then went back to ignoring her pointless presence.
Erik hesitated before speaking.
“You may celebrate Christmas in a reasonable manner as long as you don’t neglect your work for the Brotherhood. There’s one other condition. We must celebrate Hanukkah too.”
“I’ll make sure of that Erik.” Mystique hated the holidays and she wasn’t religious. She didn’t want to celebrate Christmas or Hanukkah. But for the man she loved, she would do anything.
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